Singed and Repeat

“He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man..”
I thought about it for a moment. Those words I had heard before. It was somewhere in the other world. I stood there above his body as he pulled himself against the side of the building. His clothes had been singed off from the bolt I had delivered to him. I bent over in front of him, able to smell the burnt flesh from parts of his body. I had no remorse for what I had done. But then again, I stood there for a second thinking about it. I had hesitated at those words. Closing my eyes for a moment, I took refuge in my thoughts, and remembered my humble beginning.

I could see myself walking through the market. I was a young spirit, and had learned very little of the world. The time is beyond my memory, along with where exactly I was. All I remember was the scent of sweet bread. As a tiger, I had followed the scent through the forests to a small village. I had never smelled something so amazing and tasty. Through the hedges, I could see the outside of the grounds. There were several houses being built by other spirits. Each of them were working hard to do what they needed to before the sun went down. Looking over the side in an attempt to find the smell, I finally laid my eyes upon the source. There was a food hut set up, and a beautiful lady baking fresh bread. Slowly, I pulled back from the bushes and went around the side to take a closer look. As I neared her, I could see her pale, smooth face. Blue-green eyes stood out, breaking my thought process into pieces. I stared at her, watching her for hours. Her beauty was comparable to none I had ever crossed.
I stayed there all day. When night fell, and the men of the village called it a night, I watched her enter her hut alone. Curling into a small ball, I laid there in the brush, waiting for the sun to rise so I could see her again. I had sweet, sweet dreams of the angel across the grass. My slumber was deep and hearty until they came. I could hear the screams of the villagers, and bright lights of fire danced across the sky. The light from the deep, red flames woke me up without much effort. With little to say for myself, or for my reason of being here, I emerged from the grass along the side. There was a raiding party coming through the village, burning everything they came across. I could feel my anger swelling, and the tightness in my chest was growing. Little hesitation came across, and as they kicked the door to her hut in, I was out of the bushes and charging. A roar came from my lips as I leapt into the air, and came down across the raider. He had turned around to see me, but too late. My jaws closed around his neck, and I took a chunk out of his vocal cords. The spray of blood covered my white fur, staining it red. I looked up at the young lady who now came to the door. She had a smile on her face. Gently, she reached her hand out towards me, and ran it across my face without fear.
I could feel warmth inside me spreading. My fur slowly began to recede, and I shifted form. My knees twisted around, taking the shape of a human form. I fell to the ground for a moment before realizing what had happened. Her touch had broken the barrier between my forms, and brought me to the next stage. I looked up at her with a smile on my face.
“Thank you.. whoever you are.. “
“Sanzon.”
“Well then Sanzon, I shall return to my home, and I wish for you to come along with me.”
I couldn’t turn that down. I had saved her, and she had released me. She disappeared inside for a moment before returning with a set of clothes. All she had was a spare work dress and a blouse. Slowly, I put it on in hesitation to what she might think. When she looked at me, she chuckled lightly.
“cute.. you match!”

I wasn’t about to yell at her for this, and I didn’t really have anything else to start with either. As for now, I was stuck here, but at least I had her. I slept beside her that night, watching her dream and taking guard while the rest of the villagers recovered from the raid. Many had been lost, and homes had been burnt, but at the very least she was okay. The next day I returned to the city with her. She was apparently from a decent living, and had a large home with many bed rooms. Her family welcomed the two of us, although I got weird looks for being in a dress. While she explained the entire ordeal from the previous night, I looked around. I wasn’t feeling too well, and my body hadn’t really gotten used to being in this form. Without asking, she came and wrapped an arm around me.
“We have had a long travel, and should probably get some more rest.. please excuse us”
I was curious to why they would let us just walk out together. Maybe she was an equal inside the household, and could do whatever she wanted. When we got to what seemed to be her bedroom, she laid me down in her bed. I was really not feeling well at this time, so I quickly diminished into sleep. A few hours later, however, I quickly awoke to find myself shaking lightly. Rolling out of bed, I landed on my hands and feet, and shot into the bathroom. I was breathing deeply, and had to calm myself down.
Staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I listened to the calm running of the faucet. My blue eyes widened in fear and guilt and seemingly a million other equally disturbing feelings Slowly, I watched as my chest heaved with my ragged breathing. Resting my hands on the edge of the sink, I leaned forward, watching myself more intently in the mirror. The cold sweat that had awoken me from his sleep still shimmered on his skin, a few stray locks of silver hair were matted to my forehead. I was more aware of the coolness of the air around me with the thin layer of sweat, while small goose bumps spread across my entire body.
Letting my hands sit under the cold water, I felt the frustration of the night creep up on him once more, while the clear liquid pooled up in my cupped hands. Each second sent more of the liquid poured out over my hands, joining the rest of the life giving fluid in the drain. I let my hearing shift from the running of the water to the drain, listening as the liquid slid carelessly down the pipes.
That was how I felt at this moment, as though my life were slipping through some karmic pipe, never to be recovered. Why did I do it? I let my forehead rest against the reflective surface of the mirror, while looking at myself in the odd angle it presented. My eyes ran all across the reflected image of myself, not able to catch the heavy beating of my heart. Memories of that night raced through my mind, a blur of images in the mind’s eyes. I stood there for several minutes until my breathing was under control. I had many questions to ask, but that would have to wait. I sat on the end of the bed for a good time before her warm arms wrapped around me.
“He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man..”
“what does that mean..”
“It means that you chose to be a man, instead of a beast.. I was able to release you because you wanted it more than anything else.”

Turning to face her, I gently placed my lips upon hers. I could feel her warmth overtake my entire body in a beautiful feeling that I had never encountered. When I went to lie back down, I opened my eyes only to find myself standing there again.
The man was right, after all. I didn’t understand why I had done it at all. He had abused his girlfriend in public. She had ran, he went after her, and I had followed. Stepping into someone elses business wasn’t really my style, but its something that I had done anyway. Now that I felt bad about it, I had to try to figure out what I could do now. Looking down at him, I placed my foot onto his right hand, the same hand he had used to strike at his woman with.
“you shall never strike her again.”
with those words, my hand came straight down onto his bones. I could feel them grinding into the ground as I took careful guidance to break every single bone in his hand. People stopped to look on, but didn’t waste time when they saw what was going on. His screams danced in my ears, and I knew Lauren would have thrown a hissy fit had she seen me doing this. Without waiting any longer, I drew my foot upwards, and pressed it down with full force onto the humans wrist. I wanted to make sure that, at the very least, when his fingers were healed, he would still never be able to use that hand again. The bones of his arm and wrist broke, shattered into pieces under the pressure of my force. Standing up, I pulled my jacket up around my neck and turned, heading back towards the street. I was heading off to survey a small area, time for me to get back to work.
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