.Distractions and work don't mix [Jyn]

God that dream threw me this morning. And then I went and attacked my poor assistant, Kyouya. I had to apologize several times during breakfast after I took a shower and did my hair. I sigh as I pull on thigh high stockings and clip garters to them to keep them from rolling down during the day. I then slip on a nice black skirt, the length just enough not to look slutty, yet look sexy. I don't know why I'm trying to look sexy. I frown at my mirror and shrug. My weekend with Penny might be the reason. He's not bad company. I felt relaxed, though at the same time I had to keep my wits. At least he is settled. I explained to grandmother I needed a place to relax that wasn't close to work. I added that it would keep me from running again and she quickly agreed. Kyouya isn't happy though. I groan and I look at my feet for a moment. Great. This is just what I need. Distractions when I need to make sure Jyn is on top of his work.

Or on top of you... An evil whisper in my mind and I lift my gaze to glare in the mirror.

"Kyrojin... Be quiet," I hiss at the spirit of my naginata. I hear him giggling and my inner thigh warm, making my body light flush with heat. Great.. A bundle of walking horomones. Just what I need to be today. I shake my head and pull on a nice deep crimson tank top then put a nice jacket on top of it. I button it just under my breasts and look at myself. My hair is down and holds light curled waves within the length. I really should get it cut. Its now reaching about the middle of my back. I step into a pair of matching black heels and nod at my appearance. I don't wear make up. I don't like it. But I do put on a bit of light pink lip gloss and head out of my room. Kyouya is by the door and helps me into a knee length coat with lightly furred edges. Its getting colder in the mornings. I thank him and he leads me down to the garage and to the car.

"You'll check on Pennywise while I'm at work?" I ask when we are finally in the car and on the way to Div12. Kyouya has become my driver lately because we have found it to be easier.

"I'll go feed the stray," is all he says and I smile. He doesn't like Penny all too much, but I think with time he can even get Kyouya to smile at his wit. I relax in the car, the music a background noise as my mind wanders. I really need to concentrate. But that dream. Something with Jyn and sex. I don't remember the full details. But I do remember I was on my knees before I woke up. I haven't had sex in so long. Maybe this is just a result of pent up frustration. But if I go out and do a one night stand.. I'll have Pennywise commenting about me having gotten laid in such a vulgar manner. But then.. Do I care? Not really. I can handle it. But an empty one night just isn't all too appealling right now. I want to feel something. I'm so tired of being.. Alone. My mood drops. Alone. I'm alone constantly. People would argue this. But I'm a honestly a person surrounded by people but I'm alone in that crowd. THey are just faces. They don't keep me warm and fill my soul with joy.

We pull up to Div12 and I push the thoughts away as I get out of the car and walk in. I greet the receptionist pick up the morning breakfast order Kyouya had set up with Shioriko's bakery. Apparently they had a runner for them. I take the items and head up to Jyn's office. Time to start another day..

-682

The shower runs, permeating warmth and steam into the otherwise chilly morning bathroom as my nude form makes way into it. I draw the curtains shut behind me and proceed in going through the rituals to cleaning myself off. In the midst of my shower, I find myself simply standing underneath the running water. Around this time, it would be just a little past half way into Izumi’s sabbatical. Every man is faced with the decision, as some point or another, to jack it or not to jack it… that was the question. The effort going into it seemed to be a bit much when you were only fucking yourself in the end… or hand. Pretty much like always, the decision is made not to do the deed. My body is cleaned off and I exit the shower. I head to my closet to get dressed. While reaching for my belt, it falls onto the floor of the closet. I reach down for it and pause as I notice something, a small glass bottle. I pick it up and look at it, recalling it to be a bottle of cologne received from Shiori at some point in our relationship either because it was on sale, it was a present, or some abstract reason. I wasn’t really into that kind of stuff, which was probably why it ended up at the bottom of my closet. I sniff at the nozzle and then lean back and spray it once around my neck area. My nose instantly wrinkles as I figure it wasn’t my flavor, though the smell would probably linger on me until it eventually wore off. It was of little consequence. I sit the bottle down within my closet and proceed through the rest of getting ready for the day. This portion concludes with me grabbing my keys and items and heading out the door to my car.

317

Up in the elevator to level twelve and I step off. I hum to myself as I walk to the office door and note the new door. It now finally says "Office of the Commisioner". I guess it was being fixed on friday when I first started. I shrug and move into the office after scanning my ID. I set breakfast and coffee on my desk then shiver. Office is cold. My breasts even shiver and I hate that feel. Thank god for the jacket. It'll hide the fact that I'm cold. I move to the thermostat and turn on the heater, but it would take a bit to warm the entire office to a nice level.

I walk back to my desk and slid off my coat, handing it on the back of my chair. I then take a seat, fishing my blutooth out of my purse and placing it in my ear. I login into the computer and begin checking emails. I pull out my pda and begin to type a schedule up. I then begin printing papers needed and answer simple emails. I stop for a moment and sigh, plucking up my coffee and taking a sip. I wonder where Jyn is. But then I do live closer and I have Kyouya to make sure I'm always on time. I shrug and have to put on my reading glasses as I open my own netbook and log into my own work for Kyro Corporation. Working between the two will hopefully keep me from thinking anything sexual today. But Kyrojin keeps messing with me and I faulter mid type. I bow my head and pout. Why did I have to have a weapon with a fuckin' sadistic streak?

-972

I navigate through the day time traffic as I make my way to work. I started thinking about the deal with me staying in Gothstone instead of moving. There was no real reason why I shouldn’t move; in being hired at the Division, the higher ups, or who were higher up before I became commissioner, were said to all live in Northern Heights. Since I was on the inside, I knew about the monitoring that went on there. Within the city, it was probably the safest place to be other than the Metro. Coming up in this city, I never pegged myself to be one to live in the Northern Heights. Growing up in East City, it seemed so far away and removed from my reality of everyday living. I only saw the rich and wealthy when they came into the city for festivals, concerts, or school. Still since they were a class above me, I never really had the chance to approach one; now I had gotten to the point where I could live among them. I was still far from rich, the job brought more prestige than it actually did wealth, but with the few expenses that I had, I did pretty well for myself. I seemed to be just saving up money with no real use for it other than to buy food on a day to day basis. It was around that time when I realized, I might need a hobby or a reason to spend money. The car I was driving had been doing pretty well, obviously Tre kept it in good conditions before my acquisition of it upon his untimely death. There was no real need to get a new car so that was out of the question; plus I had the enforcer which was pretty high class. It was almost amusing that living meekly up to this point left me with no clue how to spend money once I got it. Still, I thought it might be a good idea for me to move to the upper middle class, low upper class areas of Northern Heights.

After thinking and driving, I come up into the Div12 motor cage and parked my car in my usual spot. I take a moment to collect myself before getting out of the car. I knew I would pass people who would greet me as the commissioner; once I got out of this car, I represented Division 12 in its entirety. I give a light sigh before composing myself and opening my door; it was time to go to work. I proceed to the elevator and ride it to the top floor. I didn’t know if Shiori would be here or not; I wouldn’t have gotten a gauge of her schedule tendencies just yet. I hadn’t given her a set time to be here since I figured she could get here whenever so long as I had what I needed when I needed it.

Making it to the door, I slide my card and open the door. My steps bring me into the interior of the office space where I see Shiori at Izumi’s desk. My demeanor is collected as I lift my head casually and speak in my usual calm tone, “good morning, Shiori.” I walk the span of the office as I move towards the door to my office. If she drew my attention, I would pause at her desk. If not, I would proceed to my desk to sit down my items.

587 / 904

I push my glasses up as I sip my coffee and read one of the reports from Megami about a new project. She would be bringing that kid from the other day in for a couple more tests to see if he was worth having in the company. I lean back in the chair and sigh slightly, peering up at the ceiling. Maybe I'll call Pennywise on my lunch break to make sure he is okay. Did I teach him how to use the vid screen though? Hmm.. Maybe I'll do that tonight. I smile at these thoughts. He's like a kid. Its nice to have someone to care for again. Though there is no romantic gesture behind it. He's more like a stray cat. Ghost doesn't like it at all. But then Ghost is a bit more than he use to be now. A spiritually sensitive feline. Oh the joy. Wonder if he and Mittens will get along though. Or will it be a complete territory fight.

I shake my head and get back to work, switching over to reviewing a report and I begin quickly typing up a summary of it for Jyn so he will not have to read the entire thing and he can get through his paperwork faster. He comes in as I'm typing. "Good morning, Jyn," I reply, not looking up from my work. I let him go into his office as I finish this last little bit up. I've been here for maybe an hour before him. But then.. Kyouya is known to wake me quite early. And I did ask him since I wanted to get a good head start on all the work here. I print all the summaries I have typed and place with with their respective piles of paper work.

FInally I get to my feet and I stretch, back popping pleasantly. I gather up the paper work in one arm and grab his coffee and bagged breakfast in the other. I walk into his office and smile pleasant, my glasses sipping down a bit. I set the coffee and breakfast down first and finally set down the files he has to review. I clasp my hands in front of me as I peer at him. "I reviewed alot of these and wrote summaries of the main points and the budget asked for. Its so you can get through them faster. Also I have a schedule for you which I'll send when I get back to my desk," I say to him and finally push my glasses up. I then lean over the desk a bit to set up his breakfast for him. "But eat first. I doubt you got anything in you before you left your apartment," I tell him, my mind wandering to Kyouya and if he is feeding Penny, not realizing just how short my skirt is as it rides up a bit to reveal the tops of my stockings and the garters attached to them.

-1472

I finish settling into my office; luckily passing and greeting Shiori had gone pretty smoothly. It seemed like she was making things easy on me and keeping true to her promise of staying strictly professional. This was a relief since I was pretty sure she knew that she could seduce me. I could already see the scenario of what would happen afterwards. After doing it once, there was really nothing to stop us from doing it on a regular basis since the ice was broken. After that, my feelings could start to get confused and I could find myself in a reverse position as I was this time last year; she would have won. It really was a dangerous thing allowing her to be my secretary, but it seemed like everything would be okay.

By the time she comes into the office, I am already seated in my chair and going over a few files that Angela had sent to my private inbox and somehow put it to the top of the queue. Half of the stuff that she sent me for her research was over my head, but still, the pictures were pretty and I got at least some of what was going on. It was interesting material none the less. I lean back as she comes in and begins to brief me about what she’s prepared. I initially respond to her with a “ok, thank you.” As she continues and begins to sit down my food, I take notice of the revelation provided by the shortness of the skirt. Oddly, I was still used to Shiori and the thought of having sex with her, so my body would respond as if I were preparing to do something with her. I shift my mind to think about cars and sports, or something like that before I attempt to distract myself with our conversation. “I forgot today, you’re a life saver,” I admit, “but I’m thinking of maybe getting a new place, maybe in the Heights.” The erection should go away by itself as I talked; it would seem that I should have gone ahead and took care of that business matter in the shower earlier.

366 / 1270

I finish setting up his meal and pluck the top off the travel mug the coffee came in. Steam rises up, showing the mug kept the coffee piping hot. I straighten and smooth my skirt down as I peer at him. I smile as he calls me a life saver and then the smile falls as he mentions movig to the Heights. I lived there until I became a university student. I bet he wants a bigger place and he'll let Izumi design it. My heart twists. I wonder idly if I should just give up on Jyn. While I said I wouldn't because I know he still loves me.. What would stop him from going back to Izumi if he gets bored of me. Plus he and her work together. I couldn't trust him.

"Oh." I finally say, trying to keep myself calm and neutral in expression. I sigh softly. "I'm sure you'll like it there. Just keep away from some of the old bloods and everything will go smoothly," I add. My eyes flick to his computer. "Did you want me to summurize a couple of those for you," I mention, pointing to the items on the screen. "I'm sort of ahead and I want to keep busy. I even got the spread sheets done for a meeting you have tomorrow," my voice is gentle, demure even. My thoughts have made me vunerable again. I want to collect myself. But I need work to do that. Just the thoughts of never winning him back make my heart cry out in longing. Who knows when Izumi will be back to kick me out of this position as his secretary. Maybe I should just bury myself in work and forget about Jyn. I have a career ahead of me and even though that dream last night left me longing for something.. Deep down I'm beginning to believe that Jyn may never be the one to keep me from being lonely.

-1802

My hand moves to the coffee as the top is taken off for me. When you looked at it from any angle, I was pretty spoiled, but I suppose that was the good part to being the commissioner was. Still, I knew that she would do this for me even if I were a normal officer grunt. I bring the coffee to my lips and sip lightly, quickly pulling it back to allow it to sit for a moment. My gaze shifts back to her; there was nothing there. She seemed pretty neutral about the idea, though I didn’t know what the sigh was about. After thinking on it, I remember that she was from that side of the fence and had rebelled against such lavish livings to come live with me. My apartment probably did have a lot of sentimental value in it; it’s then that I feel bad for perhaps saying something hurtful. Ignoring the question on requesting more work, I turn towards her in my chair and lift my gaze to her speaking in a soft voice, “um… I didn’t mean anything by that. I like my apartment and… the memories there. My peers in the Division just think that it’s a safety risk having the Commissioner in a unsecured area…” Without really thinking about what I was saying, I continue, “I’ll probably still keep the apartment, I guess.” I say that even though there would be no real reason to keep it other than for sentimental value. Unsure of what to really say and wondering if I misspoke again, I rebound, “the coffee is good, thank you.”

271 / 1541

He seems to brush off my request because he turns towards me and I'm caught off my guard when he speaks. He makes a crack in my business mask. My eyes flicker with longing for him before I can clamp down on my emotions. I promised I would be professional. But dammit... I'm only human. Even I can't constantly become this ice queen. There are chinks in my icy armor. Ones he created in our time together. I let him keep talking. He thinks I'm upset over the apartment. Not the entire truth. I look to the side and my arms hug myself, a reflexive gesture of mine when I'm trying to somehow protect myself emotionally. I chew on my lower lip, another habit, as he tries to defer to the coffee.

"Don't let Izumi decorate," I finally blurt out. I'm shocked I said it and I look at him with wide eyes. "I.. I'm sorry. I have no right to say that.. I just.." I feel so lost. This is why I've always isolated myself from people. I never seriously dated anyone before Jyn, even Sousuke had been more a friend than a boyfriend. Well a friend with benefits.I sigh, shoulders slumping. "I'm doing horribly today it seems at being professinal with you," I say softly and look down at my feet, noting how nice my legs look in the heels. "I said I wouldn't give up. But in the end.. Izumi will be here next to you. Even if I somehow got you back. How could I trust you again not to fall for her.." I finally voice this and shyly lift my gaze to him. "I know you were wavering toward her even as we were ending. We didn't even try to save what we had. I fear... I might have to move on from you Jyn and leave this love I have behind. I'm sorry to do this to you this morning. But deep down.. I know that Izumi is probably coming back soon. What then?" I trail off and rub my arms, shivering a bit from the cold, his office having not fully heated since it was a bigger space.

-2167

Looking back up from my coffee, I watch the reaction that my words gain and worry that I perhaps said something wrong again. I knew I pretty much blew at trying to express things, but I thought I should at least try. I wondered if I should just be quiet and not say anything; perhaps that would be better. Suddenly her outburst catches me off guard; Izumi? Decorate? When she talks, I see that she had become vulnerable and it makes me feel worst. I started to get an idea of how hard she was working to stay professional around me and keep up a front. I thought it was simply something natural and that she had stopped thinking about me and our past entirely in order to perform this job. It had hurt when I thought of it like that, but now, even though this was bad, I felt a little bit relieved in my heart that she still cared. After that moment, I hear her sobering words as I translated it to mean that she needed to stop thinking about me, or something to that nature. I inquire, “is it that easy for you to move on from me? Isn’t that what we’ve been trying to do all along? What do you mean, Shiori? I’m not understanding how it is you plan to forget me… is it the position? Do need a reassignment?... I don’t want you to hurt or to hurt you…”

245 / 1786

I sometimes forget how awkward Jyn has always been when it came to expressing himself and also understanding the emotional reasoning behind things. Hell.. It had taken ages for him to tel me he loved me when we were together. His inquiry makes me want to shake him and then slap him a couple of times to see the bigger picture. I wanted to put him in my shoes also. Wanted him to know what it felt like. What if I had done this to him? He didn't know the pain I held. Just knowing he probably did things with that woman while I have remained celibate. God it makes me want to find Izumi and rip her apart then return to Jyn and hospitalize him. But those are just human revenge impulses. Jealousy in a way. But more saturated with contempt.

I finally shake my head and step up beside his chair and sit on his desk so I can gaze at him, mindful of the coffee and breakfast. "Its not that Jyn," I begin, my voice soft and gentle, the warm contenance I use to use with him when he would come home from work. I was still a woman in love and it was eating away at me. "Maybe.. I should finally just go on a date with someone else. Or just go fuck someone. Do what you did and move on with someone else," I finally say, knowing I'm being a bit harsh, but my voice is still gentle. "I want to let this go, Jyn. How can I trust you not to go back to her. She works for you. You won't go and fire her. I don't know what to do Jyn. You went and fell into the arms another woman while I have remained untouched by a man.. I waited for myself to be a better person for you. But.. You couldn't wait for me it seems."

-2491

I wince slightly, and hopefully not noticeably, at the word fuck as she applied it to herself and someone else. I found myself getting defensive about the idea of her going out, but in my mind I had to remind myself that I wasn’t with her anymore and I had zero say on what she could and could not do. Still even knowing that, it didn’t make it any better. My face lowers as it shifts to the side and I ask in a low tone, “why are you telling me this?... it’s not my right to tell you…” I pause my words not knowing how to put this. It hurt right now almost as if she were breaking up with me. I wanted to be selfish even though I knew rationally that it wasn’t right. Unable to think of the words to continue on that route with, I simply shift my gaze to look out of my window and across the city. Out of the blue, I mention for the hell of it, “I had a dream last night that we were married… you wanted me to take some stupid dance lessons and I tried to get out of it… you won in the end, though. You always did…”

210 / 1996

Because I am watching him I note he flinches when I mention going and fucking another man. But he needs to finally face the truth on this. I couldn't continue this. Its been tearing me apart. We are both adults. We need to face the facts and not dance around eachother anymore. He looks away from me and in a soft voice he asks why I am telling him this. I feel bad for dumping this on him. But We need to settle this finally. I almost want to say he can have a right again.. All he has to do is come back to what he and I shared. He pauses and I don't say anything. He needs a moment and I have said my piece for the moment. I watch him and I want to reach out and touch him. To hold him and kiss him. Make him feel like everything was all right. But.. What right do I have anymore. THe blackness within me snarls for me to make sure Izumi never makes it home. But.. Could I really take the life of a human?

Finally he speaks and I blink and speak before I can stop myself. "Well of course. A blow job before breakfast is how I tend to win our arguements.." I freeze, eyes wide. "Whoa.. Wait.. How.." I look at him, shocked. Snippits of the dream are there. Fuzzy, yet I remember more now that he has spoken of those parts. "I had the same dream... But.. How is that possible.." I say softly, brows furrowing in confusion. I look down as my lap, still seated on his desk, one leg crossed over the other.

-2773

I freeze on Shiori’s words when they come out. My gaze shifts from the window to her with a surprised look on my face. I wondered did she acquire the ability to read minds or something like that. Still, it was possible for us to dream similar things and she was right, I would know that a blow job was often a good way for her to win an argument. She knew me well enough for her to have knowledge of that… and she’s also done it on occasion. The thing that struck me as odd was the ‘before breakfast’ part which seemed pretty specific. It did seem really odd that we would both dream about being married and me getting a blow job before breakfast… or almost about to get one. With a raised eyebrow, I comment, “well in my dream, I didn’t actually get a blow job… you were about to start and then I woke up.” During this process of trying to figure out what was happening, I had to wonder if I were currently in a dream. I didn’t feel dreamy, but a lifted gaze would reveal a good shot of Shiori’s thighs and the visible garter belt where the short skirt did not hide. Taking her on the desk now seemed like a very ‘dream like’ thing to do. Forcing myself to think inside the realm of reality, I murmur, “a lot of odd things have been happening lately with my memory…” It would almost be as Izuya stated earlier.

255 / 2248

I reach up and brush my hair back. Maybe I should have put it up today. But the look on his face shows that I'm not the only one surprised. I've heard of dream sharing before. If you were once very close to a person it could happen. Though very rare. But I recall one of my professors mentioning that it was believed in old days that those who held magical abilities were more likely to dream hop due to their spirit being unable to sit still while the body needed to rest. Gah. I'm going to give myself a headache with all this. I frown slightly.

"Kyouya woke me up before I got to," I mutter. "He hates me being late. One of those assistant things that was ground into his head growing up," I sigh softly and my fingers begin to drum on my leg, not noticing my skirt had hitched up a bit on the side to reveal the garters. His murmur makes me look at him and I nod. "Yea. Same here. Though meditation helps me alot. Training the mind is something many humans don't work on and those you have all those possessions," I trail off and i tilt my head, watching him. "So... Would I be able to win with a blow job here?" I suddenly ask, quite serious. "Or will I be left feeling like I'm whoring myself out... Will you run to her? Deep down you have to ask. That dream.. Would you want to marry me years from now.. Or miss the chance and remain with Izumi?"

-3039

To my dismay I hear a name of someone whom I think I’m supposed to dislike. Apparently he kept me from dreaming about getting head, which was a minus in my book and would be held against him. Her words gather my attention; I wondered if the entities that shared my body were interfering or creating false memories in my head. She stated that she was having similar issues and I knew that her weapon spirits existed within her. The memory thing bothered me slightly as I still did not know if that time outside my apartment where I got the warning of Shiori was real or not. When she speaks about the blow job winning over, I almost cause a soft smile and begin to chuckle before I noticed that she was being serious. The sudden tone change and nature of the question catches me off guard. She speaks as if we were almost back together and I only had to reject Izumi and gain her trust. That wasn’t realistic, even though she wasn’t here… I had to support her… She was right, when Izumi returned, I would see her every day and it would be just as difficult to deal with her as it was to deal with Shiori. In the end, I knew what I was doing wasn’t fair to Shiori. Between Shiori and Izumi there was no middle ground; I wasn’t a bachelor, nor did I have the skills required to successfully juggle multiple women. My beginnings with Shiori made me dependent on a relationship; so far, I hadn’t had casual sex with anyone. I always ended up being with whoever I slept with. Still, I didn’t want her to be with anyone else, no matter how I looked at it. Slightly frustrated, I look up to her and contradict, “you wouldn’t be whoring yourself out anymore than if you went out and just fucked someone.” Even though I knew why, I still didn’t like that she could suggest sleeping with someone else, but then suggesting that it would be something less special with me.

349 / 2597

He almost chuckles before he realizes I'm being dead serious about this. He goes quiet and I can tell that the gears in his head are turning. There was a choice here. I was back. I was settled in my life again. Sure I was housing a demon and even offered him a job, but Penny needed someone to give him purpose in life. I didn't mind it. At least he was honest about things. So far anyway. I had to settle this now in my life. I'm tired of this game of cat and mouse between us. We had to decide. And if this was the end.. I would have to move on. I would find someone to fill my bed to fill in the physical aspect of my loniness. But deep down I am alone. Jyn left a hole behind and I don't know what to do about that. But I do know I will fill my life with other things. Work. Training Pennywise. More work. I would find ways to distract myself from the void in my heart.

Finally his face shows some emotion. Frustration. I can't even feel bad. I need him to know what it feels like for myself. He speaks and I sigh. I decide to take this up a notch. I move his breakfast and coffee out of the way and without a word I sit right in front of him and I uncross my leg, yet keep them together. I place my hands on the desk, one on each side of me so I can lean forward and balance myself, knowing he is getting an eye full of the top of my ample bust. I look into his eyes, needing him to understand just how serious this is.

"Jyn. I have only ever fucked people I'm dating. I don't go out and sleep around. To give you anything sexual without you being my boyfriend.. I would walk out of here feeling like a shameful whore," I say to him softly. "All because at the end of the day.. I wouldn't be yours and you would not be mine," I add gently. "I want you, Jyn. I would love for you to bend me over this desk and take me right before your meetings. But Jyn.. I'm selfish. I want you for myself. I want to cook for you. I want to be the one you come home to. Take it from my view. What if... I had started dating someone the moment we broke it off and you remained single and saw that? Now think of how it is now.. If you had a chance to take me from that man because you knew I loved you.. Would you do it? Would you take me back by any means possible?"

-3507

I didn’t know if it was women who were confusing, or just her. Just a few moments ago, she told me something along the lines of ‘…I should finally just go on a date with someone else. Or just go fuck someone.’ Now she was telling me that she was only intimate with people she’s dated. Her words seemed to contradict one another, which seemed to be the cause of my frustration with the situation. It felt like I was being cornered especially when she repositioned to address me. For a moment, the feeling of anxiousness that was welling inside of me subsides as she tells me that she wanted to be with me, but I did not really wish to put myself in her shoes. I knew that there was really no use in arguing this any further. In my mind, I felt like I needed more time. I needed to be able to think things through, or so I thought. She was offering me everything I wanted, but accepting it would have massive consequences. It wasn’t supposed to be like this and I never asked for it to be this way. My life was going normally until Shiori fell into it and now suddenly I’m left with an ultimatum. It was her or Izumi, and Izumi wasn’t even here to defend herself. I didn’t have any control in this situation and I felt like I needed to do something. I felt myself wanting to distance from the situation, but I knew that I couldn’t simply run every time. I had been running from Shiori this entire time and she kept the ball in her court. My mind goes blank and suddenly without thinking, my body lifts from my seat, my hand comes to the side of Shiori’s face and my lips come to hers as I settle into place between her legs. If this move was successful, I would be holding Shiori in a deep kiss on my office desk.

332 / 2929

I didn't want to have to do this to him. But I just haven't thought of another way to get through to him. I need him to take this more seriously. I'm a grown woman. I can't forever pine after him. No. I have things to do. A career to build on. Already I've been writing down plans for Kyro Corporation. Penny is giving me a new outlet for it. A way to maybe end this constant battle between the oni and the humans. If I can find a common ground.. Maybe we can. Or maybe I will just find more way to protect the humans from the oni who don't wish to make peace and build a community for those who want us all to co exist. I've never held a true hate for any race. I just can't. I'm open minded and I like to view all side of the spectrum before I can even think to pass judgement on them as a whole. We can't outright deem all the oni evil just because we have only met the ones who are. Well.. I can't say that for myself. Pennywise isn't evil. Not in the way that can damn him.

I push my thoughts away as I watch him, knowing this is alot to be laid down in front of him this morning. Had to be done finally. While I had the courage to say these things. I blink as he gets to his feet. "Jyn wha-" I am cut off and my eyes widen as his lips cover mine. His body nudges my legs apart and he stands between them as he kisses me. My eyes flutter closed and I whimper as I return the kiss back with a soft desperation for him. My hands lift, trembling as I gently clasp the front of his shirt.

-3816

I hold the kiss for a matter of moments, tasting her lips one more time… though it may be the last time. It felt good, I wanted to do so much more and it was taking everything in me not to. The anxiety in my body from the argument begins to fade as I calm down a bit and immerse myself in Shiori just a little while longer. Though that faded, a very different type of anxiety builds up that is ignored. My length instinctively hardens, but I would not allow it the agenda it had in mind. My lips pull from hers as my hand trails down the side of her face. I needed to clear my mind just now. Gazing into her eyes, I am returned to the calm and composed Jyn that she loved and not the confused and indecisive Jyn that was me when weakened. My tone is more fit for a commissioner as I speak, “I understand how hard it must’ve been for you. I get it now. Shiori, do you best to move on without me. I’ll always love you, so I accept that I will hurt. I’ll bear that pain the same as the pain I’ve given you.” She was a high profile figure after all. No doubt if the heir of the Kyro Corporation was with a man, I would hear about it; it would tear me up on the inside and I would feel what she was trying to convey to me first hand. After that, I would pull back. I would start to walk away from her and towards the door unless she stopped me.

275 / 3204

It feels so good to kiss him. He taste the same and I catch the scent of a cologne I bought him a while back. It was one of those colognes that made woman want to nuzzle their man to take in the scent of it. Please... Please let this be his decision. I'm tired of being so alone. But then he is breaking the kiss. My eyes flutter open and he speaks. His words cut through me and I find it hard to breath. How... How could he just kiss me so passionately and then tell me to move on. He is pulling back more and anger wells up. Who in the hell did he think he was? I see red for a moment and step up on the desk in my heels and leap up and over him and land before he even reaches the door. (HAerial)

I look at him, my eyes filled with anger. I walk up to him and if he didn't think I would hit him and move his face back he would nearly be taken to the floor with a powered backhand. "How dare you.." I hiss at him. "You think you can just kiss me as if I'm yours to kiss and then discard?" I'm pissed. I have never shown him this kind of anger before. "Did you think that wouldn't hurt me?!" I rage at him, tears starting to form in my eyes. "How can you say you love me when you will go and lay in the arms of another woman instead of mine that are open for you as well? Where the hell is your fuckin' precious Izumi? Huh? Where is she? Why do you do this to me? If you love me so much..." I begin to calm as the tears silently fall. "Why do I have to be alone?"

-4128

Somewhere in me walking to the door, she appears in front of it; this much was expected. When the slap comes in, I take it to the face, keeping the bulk of my composure as the hit is rendered (toughness). Still, I hadn’t expected her to hit that hard, if felt almost as if Tapp had laid into my face with his fist. My face comes back up as I listen to her, slightly red from the stinging strike. In my mind, this was how it had to be; my new objected dictated that I would make her mad at me and hopefully that would make things easier on her in the long run. If things lingered on with us being friendly then her love for me might still cause her pain. Her anger would replace her love and if she took out all that pain on me, I could bear it and she could move on with her life calling me an ass hole for the rest of her days. I love her enough to take a sacrifice like that, and in my mind somewhere in guy logic, that made sense to me. This thought process fuels my actions as I answer cordially, “Izumi is on vacation, you were her temporary replacement, but now you’re relieved of your duty. I will not bring charges against you for striking a superior officer.” My tone is cold and emotionless; I didn’t have much to put into my words since my heart was being torn on the inside. I needed her to hate me enough to give up on me, but not enough to kill me. Still, with no social skills at my disposal, chances were I could get killed over this. Though this may be another way of running away, it didn’t feel like it. Still, this was one of those times when I hoped that she -didn’t- know me well enough to call this bluff.

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He takes the hit. Fuckin' pig deserved it. Kiss me and then throw me aside. Who the hell did he think I was? I'm angry, but it hurts so much. I try to calm myself but then he speaks to me coldly. The tears stop and I feel my pride slamming down the gates on my emotions. I straighten myself and look at him as if he is dirt beneath my feet. "You can take your title and shove it," I say in a deadly calm voice and I recall something from Izuya that I still have not been able to confirm. THe image of Izumi as something not human. "As for Izumi. I've heard she not just on vacation.. But that she is a demon in the guise of a human. Think about it. Sudden vacation. Use think one another were demons around the time she goes. Bit too convient if you ask me. But then I have to wonder myself about you. Because I've met some demons.. And you.. What you have just done. Makes you worse than any demon I have ever met," I finish. Not caring how cold and ruthless my words are. "Oh. But then. What do you care. You had fun.. Didn't you? Having two women love you. You are a demon, Jyn. You shouldn't be the one protecting us from them."

-4356

I continue to weather the storm simply giving her my attention and nothing more as she speaks. It was interesting that she heard something about Izumi seemingly in context with what Izumi told me herself. I knew the two didn’t communicate with one another, or probably didn’t, so I couldn’t imagine how she would know something like that. The personal attacks aren’t as bad as letting her go. I could deal with insults, but as for losing Shiori forever, I felt this road I had gone down would not be retreaded the opposite direction. I knew she was saying most of it because she was upset and I expected her to, still I held to the conviction that this was what had to be done. Since I hadn’t made it to my door yet, my words aren’t directed to her, but to my system as I speak, “computer, dial security.” My tone would not have changed between the beginning of the tirade and now. It wouldn’t take more than a second for a male voice to answer via my speaker phone. I give the order, “send a team here to escort Kyro Shiori-san out of the building and to gather her belongings; she is relieved from the Division as of today.” It would be next to impossible to have to work in the same place with her; to me, this was for the best for both of us. I wanted to tell her I was sorry, but I would not; I would remain stoic and resolute through this.

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The wheels in my head are turning. He just messed with the wrong woman. His words to the computer make me stiffen and I feel my body go numb as it chills my very soul. This was it. He was choosing her. Fine. I would show him in time what he has done. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And I'm a Kyro.. This is like signing a career death warrant. I know what I will do. This nice little world he built. I'm going to bring it crashing down around him. Starting with the missing she witch. He was making a mistake making me an enemy of Div12. I have know far too much of its inner workings. If he had wanted to fire me, this should not have been the way. He could have just simply asked me politely. But this cool dismissal. Oh. I'll be getting him back ten fold.

"Don't bother with it. I can leave myself. Unless you want to be sending your security to the medic," I finally speak and my voice is cold and my eyes show how ruthless I am. I straighten my back and wipe my face. I look at him. "You've tried to make enemies with the wrong woman, Jyn. I'm not meek or docile. I was raised to rip out the throats of my opponents. You are trying to make me hate you. But know this.. I don't. I hate what you have become. You are not the man who I love. Good bye.. Commissioner," I say, showing him he has lost all the respect I once held for him. I turn on my heel and walked to the desk and gently pack up my things. I tap my earpiece and call for the car, Kyouya surprised yet the tone of my voice has him not questioning me. I pick up my purse and look at him one last time. Without another word I leave. Commissioner Asei... You have just made a very horrible mistake for your career.

-4697

-exit-

After all of that, it was finally over. After she leaves, I am able to give an exhaling sigh and relax. I take a few steps back and turn before sitting on the front of my desk and looking down. I really riled her up this time; but I was pretty certain that she wouldn’t have any difficulty moving on after this. I wasn’t too worried about the business thing, since I knew Shiori was too professional to allow her personal life to affect her company, or at least I thought so. Division 12 seemed to be one of their weapon division’s primary vendors as the only real organized ‘military’ in the city. I just assumed it would be too much of a bump for them if they cut ties with us; plus to my knowledge, the old woman was still in charge. As a cool headed business oriented woman, I knew she would make the right decisions as she’s been doing with the company all these years. Still, I never thought I would see that type of face from Shiori. Perhaps this was what the dream meant by beware of her. It didn’t matter, however. I wouldn’t run from Shiori anymore. She held the cards as well as my weakness as I couldn’t fight back against her, even if she came at me. Security states that they were monitoring Shiori and I advised for the security groups to stay back and allow her to walk out, so long as she was exiting. I ask to transfer to HR with whom I advise to escalate the termination procedure on Shiori and her accounts. Thought I thought I did the right thing, my heart ached. I wanted to run out of the office and stop her half way and apologize… but what was done, was done. I merely sit there and think for a while; needless to say, I would be missing most of my morning appointments.

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Exit RP

sent to uyb

Sent to UYB.