Distractions and Alternate Realities [Dream, Shiori]

I was in my office with familiar settings surrounding me. In front of me was my ex girlfriend and current secretary in the middle of a discussion about our relationship. Izumi wasn’t around and she was here to get me back. I was sitting in my office chair at my desk; she was sitting on my desk and facing me. I sat there as she spoke to me, trying to talk some sense into me: "Jyn. I have only ever fucked people I'm dating. I don't go out and sleep around. To give you anything sexual without you being my boyfriend... I would walk out of here feeling like a shameful whore because at the end of the day I wouldn't be yours and you would not be mine… I want you, Jyn. I would love for you to bend me over this desk and take me right before your meetings. But Jyn... I'm selfish. I want you for myself. I want to cook for you. I want to be the one you come home to!” It was then that my eyes were open to everything. Her words and feelings had reached me. I had been running from Shiori this entire time when she was exactly what I needed. I wanted to be with her; I didn’t need anyone else. My mind goes blank and suddenly without thinking, my body lifts from my seat, my hand comes to the side of Shiori’s face and my lips come to hers as I settle into place between her legs. Her voice is cut off from "Jyn wha-" as my lips cover hers. With a soft push and positioning of my body, her legs are opened to me. I am able to feel her give into me returning the kiss with a type of soft desperation and longing. I felt her trembling hands on my shift and held one as my other hand pulled her close in the embrace and kiss. This was how it was supposed to be; I would give myself to Shiori and correct the wrong of our past… Pulling back, I gaze into her eyes and speak, “I’m sorry for not seeing this before… Shiori… will you take me back?”

371

She would react. Kissing him with that sweetness he had once known as his own. But all this seemed so perfect. Like these desicions would not effect anything around him. She would let him pull her close and then they were looking into one another's eyes. She smiled such a sweet smile for him and then pulled away. She vanished from his arms and stood in front of the window that over looked Metro. "But Jyn... Don't you know.. You and I don't have a chance.." she would chirp, looking at him with that warm smile but her eyes were cold. The room would feel cold then hot. The window behind her would shatter and the wind would whip at her form. "You don't want me anymore.." she said in a sing song voice. She waved to him. "Bye bye.." and she would fall back. When he would run over the scene would shift to the park near Gothstone where they walked on their first date.

-166

I feel the weight of her body and her warm vanish and suddenly I looked up and she was by the window. Listening to her words, I did not get them. “Wha…?” I attempt to feel out for what she meant by saying that we didn’t have a chance. There is an atmospheric change and then suddenly she is whisked away from me. “Shiori!” I call out, rushing to the window to attempt to reach for her before she was out of range. Stumbling, I end up falling in a manner that would eject me form the window. Instead of descending 12 stories to the ground, my knees come in contact with the side walk as I find myself outside of the park where we first met. “Huh?...” I murmur slightly confused at what all was happening; why was I here, and why did Shiori change so suddenly. In a desperate tone, I call out to her, “but… I love you; you said you loved me too, right? Why can’t we be together? I’ll… I’ll do anything.” I started to stand up from where I had stumbled and dust off my knees attempting to walk to her, but she seemed to be moving back and out of reach from me.

210 / 581

She would laugh, dressed as she had been for their first date. "Jyn. What are you talking about?" she would ask. This was the Shiori he has first met. The fiery coffee server from Moonbucks. She walked over to him and grabbed his hand. "You said we could go to your place for a bit. Come on," she tugged on him, that smile not holding any pain. This was the happy Shiori. The woman who bravely asked him out. "Also.. How can you say you love me.." She would stop and look at him, smiling so prettily. "You have Izumi.. Remember. You pushed me away Jyn." She shook her head and tisked him as if he were a child. She moved back, as if floating away and she giggled. "What do you need me for? You threw me away," she nodded as she said this, nearly the exit to the park, a street behind her with cars zooming along it. "Remember what you did.." she would whisper and then she leapt right into the oncoming traffic.

THe scene would then shift to a warm and pleasant kitchen with a woman with his back to him, humming as she cooked. When she would turn it would be Shiori. Just a bit older, around twenty-eight with her belly rounded with child as she cooked.

-222

I was caught off guard, but at least she seemed a little bit easier to deal with. I fell in with the scene taking place as I murmur lightly, “my place…” The confusion and frustration that I had just experienced seemed to fade away in lieu of the smile she wielded against me; it seemed to vibrate and refreshing that I couldn’t continue the same mood from before. I am tugged and follow behind her with a light pleasantness on the calm face I now held. When she asks how I could say I loved her, it caused me to pause for a moment and then the words that followed seemed damning. “Izumi…?” I murmur after her words, “no… I didn’t mean to throw you away… I made a mistake…” I take steps to follow her as she floats back and away from me and before I knew it, she was heading into oncoming traffic. “Shiori, no!” I call out as I run towards her once again, but the rushing traffic holds me back and at bay; I was unable to see what had happened to her. With my arm raised up defensively and looking into the traffic, I blink and realize that I was in a kitchen. Looking around, I take in my surroundings before I recognize Shiori’s back. She seemed to be very peaceful and with a glance to her stomach, it seemed as if she were expecting. My heart warms as I accept this reality; I walk to her and wrap my arms about her from behind as I rest my head on her back and rear portion of her left shoulders. “Shiori…” I speak her name lightly as I was tired and just wanted to rest and be happy with her. This felt right to me.

300 / 881

But she would not react to him. It was like he was not even touching her. A man speaks her name at the same time as Jyn and she moves from his arms like he was never holding her. A smile blossoms beautifully on her face. She seems to glow with a maturnal warmth that any husband would love to be greeted with. "In here!" she calls and a man walked in. His hair is ebony, his eyes a warm gold, skin lightly tanned. He brings her into his arms and kisses her, Shiori whimpering as he draws he as close as her pregnant belly will allow. This was not his Shiori anymore. She belonged to another man. Was carrying the child of that man. "Pen.. You said you would be home late," she scolded him playfully, gesturing to the unfinished dinner. The man named Pen would smile warmly and nuzzle her neck. "I want to see my lovely wife. Is that a crime?" he asks and gets a gentle swat from the smiling Shiori. Jyn did not exist.

"Hurts... Doesn't it?" He would be asked. Seated on the counter was the Shiori he had seen the morning in the office. She looked at him. "How does it feel? To see the woman you love in the arms of another man. TO see her round with his child." She spoke in a cold voice. "This is what you wanted... Isn't it? For me to get over you and move on." She hopped off the counter and walking around the happy couple as they teased one another and then Pen was carressing her belly lovingly and whispering his affections. The Shiori who could see him shrugged and examined her nails. "How does it feel, Commissioner-san?"

-294

I would take a few steps beyond her as she seems to move right through me to respond to someone else who was calling her name. Watching what transpired my heart twisted in my chest as I saw her embracing the other man. “Shiori… no…” I murmur lightly as I register that the child wasn’t mine, it was his and I was nowhere in the picture nor was I remotely in her thoughts. Feeling defeated, my body would slump down and I would fall to my knees with a frown taking hold of my face and my bangs shifting over my face as my gaze was down. Hearing the voice causes me to look up, my hair shifting slightly as my eyes come to view another rendition of Shiori. Listening to her words, I watch her walk around the two love birds while taunting me. My head turns defiantly to the side; my face brooding. The remembrance of what really happened comes back to me as I see what happened when I was cold to Shiori and told her to move on from me. This is the results of my actions and it was being shown to me. Looking back to Shiori, she looked happy; for that I was glad, but the weight in my heart was overbearing. I answer in simple terms stating, “it… hurts…”

226 / 1107

She would shrug and the scene would begin to shift. "This is what could happen.." she whispered and she vanished. He was in a different kitchen. This one was a bit more rich looking, but it was simple and would feel like home. A little boy would be standing in front of him. He would have longish black hair with Shiori's warm chocolate orbs. Shiori would walk in, again rounded with child. She would blink. "Jyn. Why are you on the floor? And Jiseki.. Why don't you have your shoes on? We are going to be late to your press conferance, Jyn sweetie," she would say and the little boy would smile at Jyn. "Come on dad. Can you help me with my shoes? Mama can't bend over that far anymore.." he would chirp and Shiori would huff, blushing brightly.

-140

My head lowers again as I slump down in my unhappiness; when I look back up, the scene was different from before. As I look up, I look into the black orbs of a young boy. Shiori walks in and then speaks to me; it is then that I realize that I should be standing. Unsure of how to react in this situation, I stand up and look between the two as Shiori speaks and then the child. “Dad?... “ I murmur lightly as I allow my hand to be taken by the young boy smiling up at me. “Um… yeah…” I say, attempting to collect myself as I see the shoes sitting by the couch. I follow behind the boy to help him with his shoes while looking around for the Shiori that had brought me here. I knew she was going to take it away; it was too cruel to let me experience something like this and then take it away. I snap to it returning my attention to the boy as I would kneel and help him with getting his shoes on. During this process I look over him, feeling a little bit of pride well up in my chest. He felt real for a moment, as if he were my son; I had never really thought about being a father, but it seemed natural. My gaze shifts to the plump and huffing Shiori who seemed pregnant with another child. So we’d continue doing it like rabbits… A soft smile would come to my face as I looked to her.

263 / 1370

Jiseki grins and sits on the couch, kicking his feet a bit and making his father work to get the shoes on him. The boy was a perfect blend of the both of them and was quite the little cutie. Shiori rubbed her belly, nearing the end of this pregnancy soon. She came over, hand on the round of her belly and reached out to Jyn and fixed his hair a bit. "You look shaken up, sweetie. Maybe you should take a hot bath with me after Jiseki is in bed," she said to him in a warm honeyed voice. Jiseki made a face. "Eww.. You guys are gonna get all kissy again," he stuck out his tongue and Shiori lightly swatted the boy with a motherly smile. "Hush you or I'll take your video games away," she half threatened, but the seven year old too it seriously and looked at his father. "Dad.. You wouldn't let her... would you?" he asked with huge pleading eyes that he got from his mother. It would seem he was being given a moment in this happy scene.

-185

“Hold still,” I advise the boy who was apparently my son as I tried to get his shoes right. When Shiori comes over and touches me then speaks, I feel a bit of doom come over me. This was too perfect, and even if it were a dream, I didn’t want to wake up for a while. Why couldn’t I enjoy this? Why did it have to be taken away from me? Shaken up wasn’t the word. They go back and forth between each other, but my mind becomes more and more distant. I couldn’t get swept into this. I stand up leaving a shoe untied around the time my son would question me. Paranoid, I look around as I say, “enough…” I take a few steps back from them almost tripping over the coffee table. “This is it… I need to wake up now… I can’t take any more of this…” I look around in all direction, no longer paying attention to the Shiori here that was all I ever wanted and the child that seemed too good to be true. “Damnit,” I murmur as I turn tail and rush straight for the window of the dwelling we were in. I didn’t care about the height or where I was. I rush straight for it, lift my arms to guard my face and upper body and then leap through the window hoping to escape this blissful hell.

238 / 1608

The two would be left behind and when he leapt it would fade from him and he would simply hit the floor. Before him was Shiori, seated comfortable sipping coffee. "You make no sense. Happiness or pain. You run from the happy picture," she said softly, taking another sip of coffee. She watches him. "This is a dream. Yet you have no control.." she continued. She nudged him with her foot to make him look at her. She was dressed in a silver gown, her hair let unbound and cascading along her shoulders. "Do you even understand what all this is?" she would question, her eyes never leaving him as she drank the coffee. "Do you know what you did to the woman you love today?"

-126

I wasn’t ready for the impact with the floor; it came too suddenly and I fell in an awkward manner that knocked the wind out of me. I found myself almost groveling at the feet of a comfortable Shiori who spoke down on me from her sitting position. My body rolls slightly as I attempt to catch my breath with her words wafting in the background, each a small dagger aimed to increase my suffering. I feel her foot against me as I pull myself up into a kneeling position and it cause me to go unbalanced for a moment before I look up at her. She was radiant from her position and the silver grown flowed about her form in a mystical manner; it was hard to look upon her as the power of my own convictions seemed to radiate from her in an aura. “Please…” I murmur lightly, not answering the question that was posed to me. “Please stop this…” I murmur, “I want to wake up…”

169 / 1777

Shiori peers at him and the coffee vanishes from her hands. She places them in her lap, looking like a deity seated on her throne before him. Sadness fills her eyes. "You don't get it.. Don't get what I am.." she says to him softly. She then leans down and touches his cheek softly. "You know Shiori.. She is a strong woman. She will move on Jyn. And you will see her. See her with a new man. See her marry and have children. You won't be able to escape. Not with who she is. She will always be in the news.. And these dreams won't stop.." she pauses and there almost seems to be pity in her gaze. "You have to think about this. You can't keep running away."

-130

Slowly I pull myself into a kneeling position on my knees and elbows with my gaze down and my hair covering over my visage. I just wanted this to end, but somehow I could not force myself awake from this nightmare. She lifts my face as she touches my cheek and I look to her as she speaks to me. She was sweet in a way, almost as if she were trying to show me the way on something. Her words go into my head as I mimic to myself, “I can’t… keep running away?” What she said was right and I was questioning my decisions once more. I felt my guilt sink into me and I nodded a bit; there was remorse in my actions. What I did to Shiori was wrong and I could understand I should have never treated her that way in my office. She was only there to help me and wanted only to love me and create these scenes that I was seeing now.

170 / 1947

She smiles so sadly and moves away from him. "She loves you. Look at all she did for you. She made herself better and was trying. But you treated her like an object.." Shiori pauses and sighs, looking to the side. "You'll need to wake soon.." she whispers and peeks at him. "But know your doubt. You need to think more on this. Otherwise.. You may decide to late and you'll lose Shiori forever.." she says and the kitchen scene returns with Shiori in the arms of another man, her belly round with child. "You know her. She will eventually move on and forget you.." Her form begins to flicker and she smiles at him. "You can wake up now, Jyn."

-121

I try to justify myself as I say, “but I would have done anything for her. I want her to be happy, but it’s hard to let go of what I have. I would still give my life to protect her… I would use Division forces just to make sure she was safe… I would watch over her… but…” My words fade off; I didn’t have the right to do any of that; I felt back. I am told that I would wake soon and that I should think more on this. I look up to see the kitchen scene return and it feels as if a demon reached out and grabbed my heart, squeezing it with all of his might. I look to the form of Shiori that was guiding me and on her words, it seems like the scene fades.

My body rises up and I look around in a cold sweat. This wasn’t like me. My hand comes to my face as I wipe it catching my breath. I didn’t know what was going on with me. “Damnit…” I murmur lightly, vividly remembering the entire dream. My gaze shifts to the clock and it informed me that I would normally be waking up for work in about 30 minutes. I didn’t feel as if going back to sleep would be a good choice, so I decide that it would be time to get up now. As my breathing calms and I simply lay in the bad with my upper body hanging over with my gaze down, I murmur “Shiori…” lightly.

263 / 2210

1384 - Wc goes to Jyn

Sent to UYB.