Corrupt-A-Wish Forum Game

First topic message reminder :

Here's how you play!
One person wishes, the next person grants and corrupts to their own liking, then makes a wish of their own.

Examples:
"I wish I had a car."
"Granted. It's the car from Stephen King's Christine.
I wish for world peace."

"Granted. World peace is achieved by uniting the world against you.
I wish for the secret of happiness."

"Granted. You are hit by a bus.
I wish for immortality."

Don't repeat wishes. Changing the phrasing is fine, though.
I'll start off.

I wish I didn't have to take this gay Chemistry class over again.

game over.. system memory dump for requesting the truly impossible..

HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!

I wish Edward from Twilight, with all his gay sparkles would be killed by Blade.

GRANTED, but blade ends up dying in the fight..

I wish this game had never started..

granted
having never started, it can never truly end!
i wish kiun were here!

Granted, but he returns at full force for five minutes, spamming every board into oblivion before leaving..

I wish .. that it rain more

SPAMSPAMSPAM
Granted. It rain a hell of a lot over here in New England just today, and it'll rain a lot more this week! Get in that car yo'.

I wish this thread never started. /divisonbyzero.

Granted! This thread never happened...

Hey guys ive got a good game to play.
Here's how you play!
One person wishes, the next person grants and corrupts to their own liking, then makes a wish of their own.

Examples:
"I wish I had a car."
"Granted. It's the car from Stephen King's Christine.
I wish for world peace."

"Granted. World peace is achieved by uniting the world against you.
I wish for the secret of happiness."

"Granted. You are hit by a bus.
I wish for immortality."

Don't repeat wishes. Changing the phrasing is fine, though.
I'll start off.

I wish I had a cherry pie

When did Perez Hilton dye its hair?
Granted. It's now called "Gnoming" forums. It's essentially the same, but it's done in a squeaky voiced verbose format, you can punt them now and finding one with a jamaican accent is much harder.

I wish for that Delori-whatever car from Back 2 The Future.

As you wish; the tires were jacked by urban youth and the vehicle's on bricks outside the liquor store. Zoom zoom.

I wish we had another updater.

Granted. I'm joining the staff to help you with the overflowing upda-- Wait, what's that? There's a beach party? With loads of hawt chicks? SRY GUYS, GTG! See you in five mooooonths!

I wish the radio would stop playing that stupid "Whatever You Like" song even after all these years.

Congratulations, at some point in time, every character on the site was in a gay band (ref: http://www.enjoyincubus.com/us/home) in a previous life. I wish I had more RAM.

You get it, but its the wrong type and your computer blows up from being incompatible.
I wish my bass player didnt suck.

Granted; he only gives hand jobs now.
I wish for Surreal to post here.